It’s the Middle of the Night and I’m Googling How to Use the Spackle

For a long time I was completely against owning my own home. Because the thing about renting is that when shit goes wrong, it’s not your (financial) problem. I love that. But something changed at some point. It might have been when the housing market crashed and it seemed as though owning a home might be within my grasp. It might have been that moment when my landlord told me that I wasn’t having a jumping spider infestation in the extra bedroom because spiders – and this is a direct quote – “don’t come in through windows.”

And so we tried to get a house. But it was ridiculously difficult. Lower housing costs just made the lower-priced homes an investor’s dream and the market became rather like great white sharks frantically bidding on seals on eBay.

Shut up. That metaphor totally makes sense.

So for one reason or a bunch – and in hindsight it was obviously a good thing for a few reasons – we never were able to buy a home and I’ve been trapped in this apartment for too long.

Long story extremely short, I own a home now. I mean. I still wish someone else was in charge financially. But if my bathtub is going to have gaping holes in it for more than two years those are going to be MY holes. (KNOCK WOOD. Dear Universe, no holey bathtubs, please, ok? Kthx.)

I’m a strange awake-all-night mixture of excited and terrified. This has been a dream and a hope for so long, but now that it’s here I feel all panicky and I’m wondering why the hell I did this and what the hell was I thinking? I’m told this is actually a normal part of the home buying process. If that’s the case, then I have to respectfully ask why realtors can’t prescribe Ambien or some sort of sleep aid. Because this sleeping like Edward Cullen shit is for sparkly-ass vampires, not for single moms who have to figure out how to install vertical blinds tomorrow morning. I mean this morning.

I get the keys in a few hours now. I plan to buy my kids lunch and eat it on the floor of the new apartment. And then make a master to do list for the next few weeks. A list which will include things like: fixing up an apartment, painting, cleaning, packing, moving, cleaning, starting school, and coming up with a homeschooling plan for the next school year that actually starts in only two weeks. OK. Now that I’ve written that out I can see how overwhelming it is. So, Brain? All the more reason TO GO TO SLEEP.


4 thoughts on “It’s the Middle of the Night and I’m Googling How to Use the Spackle”

  1. Thank you for the morning giggle and *squee!* I am so excited for you and the kids. Today will be fantastic. Just watch.

  2. YAY! Congratulations!

    It will take a little bit for that “what the hell did I just do” to wear off. I love owning my own home and being able to fix broken things with something that isn’t also broken. But I do wish I thought to take out stock at Home Depot/Lowe’s first. We’ve spent so much money at those two stores in the past 3 years it’s not even funny.

    When you make up your master to-do list – put an order of importance/priority on the items and/or a time frame. And include some down-time for you.

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