Category Archives: Lady Links

Lady Links, This is a Woman

Lady Links 3.6

The clouds stop here.
this photo came out extra hipster so pretend it’s really, really motivational

I’m not gonna make excuses for why I haven’t posted one of these in like 100 years. I’m not gonna make excuses for why I haven’t posted one of these in like 100 years. I’m not gonna make excuses for why I haven’t posted one of these in like 100 years. I’m not gonna make excuses for why I haven’t posted one of these in like 100 years.

~TIAW on Pinterest and Tumblr.

The Bullshit:
~Get your barf bag ready because WHAT THE FUCK, MASSACHUSETTS? Update: Not everyone in MA is living in the dark ages.
~The story of one abusive relationship.

The Awesome:
~This guy basically let his life nearly completely fall apart in order to improve the lives of Indian women.
~Nicki Minaj being basically gorgeous, even straight out of the shower without any makeup.
~Buzzfeed asked Kevin Spacey the same questions women usually get asked and he is baffled.
~At some point Cracked became the new educational source online and Buzzfeed seems to be the new feminist one. I’m not sure what’s happening to the world, but I might be okay with it. Five things more likely to happen to you than being falsely accused of rape.

Lady Links, This is a Woman

Lady Links 2.10

Um. So. This is late. Because last week I maybe kinda forgot a little? *cough* thank god I’m cute.

I feel like this isn’t timely since this is what everyone was talking about last week and not so much now. But it’s not like these issues have gone away.

So this little thing with Woody Allen happened and polarized the world, basically. His daughter, Dylan, came forth after his appreciation at the Golden Globes and reminded everyone about that time he was accused of molesting her when she was a child. Then this guy who sort of knew Woody Allen professionally made a reply to Dylan’s accusations and I won’t even link to it because it’s disgusting. The author very carefully used words and phrases and reasoning that people ALWAYS use to silence victims. Girls are lying liars who lie! Dare not question the Artist! He’s the victim here! (I paraphrase for the snark.) But good things have been written in Dylan’s defense as well. This is an excellent piece which I would quote for you but all the best parts are the entire thing and I think that might just be plagiarism. And there’s this one: Are Children Supposed to Document Their Abuse? Because. I mean. Really. The title speaks volumes. But it goes on to point out that, if indeed, people in America are considered innocent until proven guilty, and if indeed, we will never know what really happened – why are we demonizing the child here and making the potential abuser out to be a saint. If we truly cannot prove who is lying then lay the fuck off Dylan. Because when you disregard her abuse, you simultaneously disregard the abuse of every other victim in the world, too. When you demonize her, you simultaneously demonize every other victim in the world, too. So don’t do that. Just don’t.

And then there’s Phillip Seymour Hoffman. And I know he’s not a woman. But it’s not like addiction doesn’t ever strike women. And what it is about is changing the way we think about things which is one of the fundamental aspects of the Lady Links. So we’re talking about this today. We heard this news while visiting a tiny mountain town to celebrate my birthday. To be honest I’m still kind of in denial about it. But then Jared Padalecki tweeted out that Hoffman’s death wasn’t a tragedy and we discussed this. And I don’t know why, maybe it was the wine, or the sugar high combined with the higher altitude, or maybe I just really like the sound of my own voice more than being reasonable and compassionate (I do tend to process things slowly in my mind, but my mouth never gets the message to hold off), but at the time it seemed like a good thing to agree with, although I felt like it was a shitty way to have put it. But as I was driving home that night – even before I’d read the opinions about this on Tumblr – I realized how stupid that is. And as much as I tried to make excuses for my own stupid agreement with the comment, I just could not figure out how addiction isn’t a tragedy. Lord knows I’ve seen it enough in my life. And some people can recover, but they struggle every single day with it. Russell Brand once wrote a really great piece about this. But some people don’t ever conquer addiction. My grandma had lung cancer twice and wasn’t ever able to put the cigarettes down. And I don’t honestly know if that even compares to hard drugs – I just know that it’s a fucking tragedy when addiction rules your life. And it’s a fucking tragedy when the entire world blames a person for their own struggles. Because the thing is that no one sets out to lose control of their life. No one consciously chooses to struggle with addiction every single day for the rest of their lives. Whatever led them to that point is a tragedy and it is heartless and inconsiderate and unacceptable to not try to understand that. Again, Brand speaks up and poses this question, “Would Hoffman have died … if we weren’t invited to believe that people who suffer from addiction deserve to suffer?”

Lady Links, This is a Woman

Lady Links 1.24

field o' daisies
an unrelated picture of flowers for you

~TIAW on Tumblr and Pinterest.
~”But this also hints that as much as self-proclaimed progressives wantto exist in a world where looks don’t matter to the point where they can be ignored, they still matter.”
~If you haven’t seen this yet, you really need to see this.
~Here’s a thought – let’s stop picking other women’s choices apart and just support everyone. LOVE.
~This is a beautifully done music video which shows that people on screen are not always what they seem.
~Speaking of retouching photos and video, you absolutely need to click on this link. Just make sure you aren’t drinking anything while you read through it because the hilarity will make you spit your drink all over you computer

Lady Links, This is a Woman

Lady Links 1.17

Is "I'm sorry professor but god wouldn't let me study because sunset" a good excuse? #nofilter
Pretend this amazing sunset is particularly feminist in some way.


~TIAW on Tumblr and Pinterest.
~One of the things that comes up from time to time on SOAM is that women tend to stress about what their bellies look like when they are on all fours. I remember when my second baby was a newborn and I had mastitis and was given the prescription of nursing him on the floor while leaning over him to let gravity help clear out the blocked duct. And I noticed that my boobs looked really weird from that angle. Because here’s the thing: BODIES ARE REALLY WEIRD. They are smelly and gross and do things that are wholly inappropriate. But we cover and hide all of that part of humanity so we are only regularly exposed to one aspect of human beauty. I love this link because it compares bodies in a flattering pose right next to one in an unflattering pose so you can see exactly how weird the bay actually is, and to help you remember how arbitrary it is that we decided only one of those poses is a flattering one. In either case the body is equally as disgusting and amazing if you really stop and think about it.
~A very SOAM-relevant post.
~Geena Davis solves Hollywood sexism for you.
~Mormon women pose nude FOR FEMINISM!

Lady Links, This is a Woman

Lady Links 11.15

(Reusing an old image here because I'm out of time. Also because CAKE.)

(Reusing an old image here because I’m out of time. Also because CAKE.)

~TIAW on Tumblr and Pinterest.
~And you know? You may want to check out my personal Tumblr blog, too, today. There’s some interesting stuff that may not make it over to TIAW for one reason or another. Also I am adorable and you need more of me in your life.
~Sometimes I think Rainbow lives in my brain.
~I hate stretching. I’ve NEVER been flexible. In second grade I got in trouble for not sitting cross-legged because it was really uncomfortable for me. I must have come out of the womb and refused to ever do yoga again or something. And yet, I’ve been feeling very stiff lately. Probably because I am about to turn 80. So I happened across this and I think I’m going to start some stretching and see if I can’t start feeling a little more 35 years old.
~What no one tells you about losing lots of weight. Your skin doesn’t necessarily snap back. But no matter what? We are all beautiful.

Lady Links, This is a Woman

Lady Links! 11.8!

Thank you for being patient with me both in my extreme emoness and in the fact that I, like, totally forgot to throw an entry up last week. In my defense I wound up in urgent care that day with four prescriptions, including one for an inhaler because I have this STUPID COUGH.

Over all I am feeling much more emotionally stable, at least for the moment, but my goodness Life is just relentless, isn’t it? Between this cough and my ladybits issues (someday I will find time to write an update) I feel like I’m at least 100. I bought a new exercise bike as part of my Get!Happy! plan (phase two is to afford a dishwasher somehow) and I haven’t even had the lung capacity to use it yet. I am beyond ready to get back to a healthier place in my life, but my body isn’t quite there, yet. So frustrating.

Why, yes, I do believe I am going to be one of those old ladies who complains about every single body ache. In fact, I believe I already am.

So thank you for the kind words and support two weeks ago. You have no idea how much it helped me.

Onto the Lady Links! Have a motivational poster I designed myself!

something motivational

~TIAW on Pinterest and Tumblr.

~This is a really important talk on TED. It’s like 15 minutes long, but seriously. So. Worth it. It questions whether overweight is the cause of diabetes as current medical theory holds, or whether we might be finding out that it’s actually a normal physiological reaction to insulin-resistance. In other words, maybe fat people aren’t just lazy after all. Maybe their bodies are actually incredibly wise and doing something that needs to be done to protect them from this condition they have. Who would have thought? Oh right. Probably you. But the talk is also incredibly moving and the doctor giving it admits his previous errors in assuming certain things. And I’m a sucker for people being, like, mature n shit.
~”You know what’s not good for our mental health? Shame and hatred. So if you’re really worried about someone’s health, harassing them about their weight is not helping. Quite the opposite.” <-- From this post.
~Plus-sized models that are actually plus-sized. Lovely!
~Here’s another TED talk – this one came from my sexuality class last week. It’s given by a model who acknowledges the superficial side of the industry and who speaks frankly about her experiences and privilege.
~”The goal of this song is to reduce shame and embarrassment that women feel regarding their time of the month.” Also this song? Quite cute.

Depression/Anxiety, Lady Links, This is a Woman

Lady Links 10.25

I’m sorry. I can’t win at life. I can’t even lose at life. I can only just barely life. I was to depressed last week to post Lady Links and pretty much too depressed today, too. But seeing as how my other option is studying, have some links.

I am the worst right now. I’m so sorry.

~TIAW on Tumblr and Pinterest.
~Maria Kang is the woman who posted a picture of herself with her three kids and her socially-accepted-idea-of-perfect body with the caption “What’s Your Excuse?” Now here’s the thing. GOOD FOR YOU, MARIA. Living a healthy life that makes you feel good. Awesome! I love it! However. By representing her happy life with pictures of her body she is, perhaps inadvertently, equating her body shape and size with happiness and insinuating that this is what we all strive for or should be striving for. By asking her readers what their excuse is, she is implying not only that we are making poor choices that are inferior to her choices, but that we all have the possibility of looking the way she does if we weren’t so lazy. Which is, of course, not true. But – and this is really the crux of everything related to fat-shaming – IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT EXCUSES THERE ARE. IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER IF THERE ARE EXCUSES. It is none of anyone’s business what anyone else looks like. NONE. No. It’s not. Nope. Still not. Here’s a post I shared earlier this week with SOAM’s facebook page (which got me accused of fit-shaming and OH MY LORDY REALLY? If you think I am fit-shaming, you need to reread this until you, like, actually understand what I’m saying here). ANYWAY. This is the best response I’ve seen to Maria’s statement. Read it. Let it open your mind.
~I love this woman.
~On little girls and body image.
~This is the worst thing ever. Go find some bunnies to look at to cleanse your brain before you read it.

Maybe it’s all the dairy I’ve had lately, but I’m feeling like I’m not making much of a difference in the world here with these links. I don’t know. Let me know if there’s a point to me continuing or maybe I’ll focus on other things.

/emo (only, if I’m being honest, it’s probably not actually the end. I’m so sorry.)

Lady Links, This is a Woman


Happy Thing: Leaves Crunching
Why a picture of my feet and leaves? WHY NOT?

I commit to nothing at this time in my life because right now things are kind of hard. Actually. I guess it’s more correct to say that I commit to raising my kids and getting good grades and maybe washing some dishes once in awhile. So I don’t want to commit yet to being back here just yet, but my plan is to be back here.


~TIAW on Tumblr (which I will get back to next week! I hope!) and Pinterest.
~Join us in Finding some Happy on Instagram this year.

~New York City is working on a project that promises not to fat-shame girls, but to teach them that they are beautiful just as they are.
~This one is powerful. Trigger warning for rape. It features lyrics to “Blurred Lines” next to men and women holding signs with things their rapists said to them. Not surprisingly, the signs match up with the lyrics. Ugh.
~Need a boost after that one? Here you go: 30 Days of Redefining Beauty.
~I don’t know, but CAN I MARRY THIS GUY RIGHT NOW? He not only went as “Slave Leo” to the conventions this year (and he made the entire costume himself! from leather and metal!) but he has really well-considered and humblr reasons for doing so.

Lady Links, This is a Woman

Lady Links 8.9

awesome at math

~TIAW on Tumblr and Pinterest.
~This was going around a couple of weeks ago. It’s a comparison (using… food?) of porn to real-life sex. I have not actually seen a crapton of porn in my life, so I find it interesting that many of these numbers were a surprise to me. I guess it goes to show how much influence porn has over our cultural view of sex. *sigh*
~This is a really interesting article. I started skimming it the other day and got about 30% of the way through before I had formed a solid opinion. Now that I’ve finished it, however, I don’t know really what to think. In the article, a thin woman who struggles with her own body image (as many women of all sizes do) makes a comment about not wanting to be fat. Was it a derogatory comment, biased against overweight? Absolutely. But do thin women not get to talk about their own body image issues just because they are thin? That’s not really fair either, is it? Perhaps we should do that thing here where we listen openly to everyone’s point of view, and together we can gently discuss these issues. Maybe that way we can grow together and finally end this body hatred too many women of all sizes and shapes suffer from.
~”To suggest that one’s belly, body hair or tattoo is ‘distasteful’ and should therefore be covered in the name of etiquette is the very worst sort of body fascism. If your children are traumatised by the sight of a fat person in a bikini, a bit of cellulite or a caesarean scar, then may I tentatively suggest that you aren’t raising them correctly. If seeing someone hairy wearing something skimpy renders you ‘unable to eat your lunch’ then I’m afraid my diagnosis is the problem is with your brain, not their body. We are all naked underneath our clothes. We all have a body and few of them are anatomically ‘perfect’. Grow up.” <-- From this article.
~Dear Men, “You shouldn’t be a feminist because you want to protect your womenfolk, or because you think it’ll get you laid. You should be a feminist because you should fucking be a feminist.” Word.
~I really really REALLY don’t understand how a shirt insinuating that girls can’t do math gets through the production process without someone in the company pointing out that, hey, you guys? maybe this is a tad sexist? WTF, Children’s Place? Still, this post brings up some other questions dealing with the more subtle layers of gender-designed clothing. I know when I was pregnant with my son in 2005 and did not know his gender it was really hard to find gender-neutral newborn clothes. Once he was born, it was really hard to find boy clothes without sports stuff on them (we are so not sports people). It’s worth thinking about.