Lady Links 8.9

awesome at math

~TIAW on Tumblr and Pinterest.
~This was going around a couple of weeks ago. It’s a comparison (using… food?) of porn to real-life sex. I have not actually seen a crapton of porn in my life, so I find it interesting that many of these numbers were a surprise to me. I guess it goes to show how much influence porn has over our cultural view of sex. *sigh*
~This is a really interesting article. I started skimming it the other day and got about 30% of the way through before I had formed a solid opinion. Now that I’ve finished it, however, I don’t know really what to think. In the article, a thin woman who struggles with her own body image (as many women of all sizes do) makes a comment about not wanting to be fat. Was it a derogatory comment, biased against overweight? Absolutely. But do thin women not get to talk about their own body image issues just because they are thin? That’s not really fair either, is it? Perhaps we should do that thing here where we listen openly to everyone’s point of view, and together we can gently discuss these issues. Maybe that way we can grow together and finally end this body hatred too many women of all sizes and shapes suffer from.
~”To suggest that one’s belly, body hair or tattoo is ‘distasteful’ and should therefore be covered in the name of etiquette is the very worst sort of body fascism. If your children are traumatised by the sight of a fat person in a bikini, a bit of cellulite or a caesarean scar, then may I tentatively suggest that you aren’t raising them correctly. If seeing someone hairy wearing something skimpy renders you ‘unable to eat your lunch’ then I’m afraid my diagnosis is the problem is with your brain, not their body. We are all naked underneath our clothes. We all have a body and few of them are anatomically ‘perfect’. Grow up.” <-- From this article.
~Dear Men, “You shouldn’t be a feminist because you want to protect your womenfolk, or because you think it’ll get you laid. You should be a feminist because you should fucking be a feminist.” Word.
~I really really REALLY don’t understand how a shirt insinuating that girls can’t do math gets through the production process without someone in the company pointing out that, hey, you guys? maybe this is a tad sexist? WTF, Children’s Place? Still, this post brings up some other questions dealing with the more subtle layers of gender-designed clothing. I know when I was pregnant with my son in 2005 and did not know his gender it was really hard to find gender-neutral newborn clothes. Once he was born, it was really hard to find boy clothes without sports stuff on them (we are so not sports people). It’s worth thinking about.

Filed in Lady Links, This is a Woman

{ 2 comments… add one }

  • Mina August 13, 2013, 2:04 pm

    I keep writing and rewriting a comment on this….I don’t love this comment of mine (I’m not expressing myself as well as I’d like to) but I’m posting it anyway because that article has been bouncing around in my head since I read it last week.

    I read the article (the xojane one by Fiona Helmsley) shortly after you posted it. I’ve been thinking about it ever since, and even more so after an exchange on SOAM yesterday.

    I keep flip flopping on what I think of it. I do think there’s a trend sometimes to try and say something witty on facebook (or other social networking sites where we’re reduced to kind of “bumper sticker” length input), and it’s easy to let our desire to be witty supercede manners. I’ve been guilty of it. Seems like that’s kind of what this author did that struck a raw nerve with her friend.

    The last part of the article though, where she said something to the effect of “we all have our issues, can’t we live with our issues all alongside one another” is interesting. The author fearing “being fat” implies that “being fat” is such a terrible state, which is inherently offensive to anyone who actually “is” fat. I think that offense (taken by her FB friend) is fairly taken, actually, but then whether the author SAYS it or not, the fear is still there, and still offensive, just unspoken…?

    Thin privilege. I guess this article made me wonder if I have it. Quite honestly I’m in a FAR better place with all of this body image stuff than I’ve EVER been (ironic, considering I’m bigger than I’ve ever been…but truly, I’ve probably never qualified as fat in the eyes of others), but in my past struggles, my issues with body image have really been so internal and (selfishly) about me and myself only. I can’t say that I never notice what anyone else’s body looks like (that would be a lie, of course), but I don’t think I’ve looked at someone and decided, say, whether I wanted to get to know them or hang out with them or not based on their weight. I have noticed in my past other women, much bigger than myself, who seemed so comfortable in their skin and have actually felt jealous of THAT.

    I don’t know. I think her FB comment was insensitive, and it was good her friend called her out. I hate for the defriending and all to happen, but I also understand that we all have to protect ourselves, and maybe that’s what her friend needed to do that day. But I’m still thinking about thin privilege.

    Reply
    • bonnie August 13, 2013, 7:37 pm

      Well, thin privilege is not JUST an attitude. It is something that all thin people have, just like all white people have white privilege. Here’s a good link that explains it better than I can right now. Now there CAN also be an attitude that goes along with it, but that’s something that a person can be educated about and learn to avoid.

      As for the woman’s comment, and my take on it – I was worried (before I read your comment, actually) that it might sound like I was supporting her original comment. I wasn’t. What I meant was that I don’t want to alienate women who struggle with eating disorders and make them feel unsafe to share how they feel. In an ideal world both of those women would have opened their minds and listened to each other and shared how they felt and I think, if they were truly open to it – they could have come to a greater understanding of each other and the world.

      I don’t know if I’m thinking or writing clearly myself right now. So I hope that made sense. :)

      Reply

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