I read a comment tonight where a woman lamented the fact that she will never be skinny. And I wanted to tell her, “So let that desire go. If you know right now with 100% positivity that you will never be skinny, let that desire just go all the way. Now that it’s gone you can stop and think about what you want most from your life. A satisfying career? To raise children? To focus on your personal growth? To travel the world? At the end of your life, where do you want to have been?”

A year or so ago I was having a conversation with a friend who was frustrated with her weight. I was reminding her that size is the least important measure of actual health but she kept throwing excuses my way, trying to dodge my actual logic with things like, “But this isn’t the size I know I can be.” And I wanted to say, “OK. But what if your body won’t be that size ever again? What if something is different now and that body size is gone? Then what?”

I see this so often in women. Yes, I just want to be healthy, but I know I need to be smaller. Yes, I just want to be healthy but I’ll feel better at a different size.

And you know? They might.

But what if they never do? What if, at the end of their life, they’ve chased this ideal skinny body, this particular smaller size, always unsatisfied, always trying. And what if they just never get there?

Because that size – even if it IS attainable – is unattainable. That size? It’s a metaphor. It’s irrelevant. It’s imaginary. It’s bullshit.

Tying your life, your health, your mental health to a number (be it dress size, weight, or just the idea of “skinny”) is such a waste.

And to clarify, because I know there will be people out there accusing me of saying being unhealthy is OK: BEING HEALTHY IS THE GOAL HERE, OK?

Be healthy. Eat whole foods. Exercise. Feed your psyche and nourish her. Do your fucking kegels, apparently. But don’t do any of it to get to a number of some sort. Do it because nourishing your body makes you feel good. Because exercising makes you feel strong. Fuck whatever size you think you need to be and just be you. Because living today and loving you today is better than waiting for even a day to love you.