1. Wear pajamas for at least 36 hours straight
2. Watch the 2013 Big Fat Quiz of the Year
3. Eat pizza
4. Play Epic Mickey for at least 3 hours to make up for the last six months of no video games
5. Read Avatar: The Promise
6. Cry the whole time because FEELS
7. Drink a Mexican Coke
8. Take a bath
9. Actually sleep in past 7am
10. Read whatever novel I want for hours and hours
11. Spend time with my lovely frister Summer
It has been a lovely weekend.
Today was our last chance ever to get together for a 7 Days group shot. Things like this are always difficult to do during the holiday run since everyone is always busy or out of town or sick. And today we were missing a few people for various reasons, but those of us who could got together one last time at the beach. When I started this all those years ago, I never expected I’d end up on a beach with a group of amazing people I shared this whole 7 Days experience with. I just figured it would be a fun thing to do. In the end it changed my life.
It also changed my photography. It was this group that inspired me to buy a DSLR, and that challenged me to always have something interesting to show off. Back in college the alternative processes were always my favorite part of photography. I loved working with the sepia, solarizing prints, or using oil paints to enhance a photo. The same is true today. I’ve done through the viewfinder photos, multiple exposures. I’ve used creative lenses and filters, iPhone techniques, and underwater cameras. I’m not sure where I’ll find the inspiration to keep trying new things, but I don’t want to stop.
As I looked around at my friends today on the beach, each setting up their shot, testing the light, hooking up remotes, each in their own world of preparation while chatting all together, I got the sense of that melodic cacophony of an orchestra warming up. And by the time I thought to start rolling video, most of that was finished, but I took some anyway and came home and, in the spirit of learning new things, threw together a quick iMovie video which you can see here.
Thanks, everyone, for being here always. To the future!
You can see the whole set here.
I do not have a Thing about showers. I have very carefully never watched Psycho and I am far more afraid of an earthquake (KNOCK WOOD, OKAY, UNIVERSE?) happening while I’m in the shower than of being murdered in there. And yet. Every single day when I go to get out of the shower I see a pair of feet just outside the door. And every single day I nearly pee my pants and scream.
IT’S MY REFLECTION. Every day I scream at MY OWN FEET.
You may also be amazed at my gracefulness when I tell you that I sliced my finger earlier this week doing laundry.
Thank God I’m cute.
PS. No I do not wear literal pants in the shower. Just figurative ones.
I think threeish years ago I started taking birds-eye views of my living room for 7 Days shots. Tonight I took the final one. It went from a place where I felt very trapped and suffocated by all the clutter (as an adult child of a hoarder this is a really sensitive thing for me) to a place warmed by red walls and cozy and welcoming.
December 2010
I’ve moved a few times in my life and I’ve always kind of enjoyed it. A new place holds a kind of excitement. But moving to this place back in September has been actually surprisingly difficult for me. Maybe because I hadn’t moved for like 14 years, or maybe because I actually own this place and that alone was a huge step. Or maybe because any of the 467 other things that were happening this fall heightened my anxiety. I don’t know. But people would ask me how my new house was and even though I knew I was happy to be here, I also had incredibly amounts of anxiety about it. In the last month or so I’ve finally started to feel like I’m settling in, and seeing this living room makes me really, really happy.
March 2011
Now if only these &*%$! &%!!@#&% &@$%!& !!@!! @$#!&! ants will die I can see myself being happy here for a long time. If they won’t die, I’ll just have to move to Canada.
December 2011
PS. those extra shots in the collage up top there were after I’d taken about 50 shots I didn’t love so I was getting a little loopy. And by “loopy” I mean “hilarious”.
Seven years ago I took part in a self-portrait project. It was, I think, inspired by the various 365 projects that were popular at the time, but only required a week’s participation at a time, four times a year. Just my speed! Over the course of the years I got to know new people, and I brought some of my friends from other areas of my life into the group. Some of the people I met or got to know better through the 7 Days group have become very important to me. In fact, as I write this I am sitting Bethany’s living room while I make use of her laundry facilities (my dryer decided to take the day off today). In fact fact, I’ve spent like almost all the last week with Bethany and her family. They are sure to get bored of me any moment now.
Seven years is a long time. When I started this project my little one wasn’t even two and my daughter was about to be five. They are so different now (although my daughter looks exactly the same somehow). Through these last years of this project so much of life has happened. Marriages began and ended, babies were born, people moved, friendships were forged, relationships changed. But babies were born, man. Like where there once was no human, now there is a human. What? How does that even happen? (Don’t answer that, I actually know how it happens. I’m being deeply philosophical here, smartass.)
It seems so random that a chain of events of various importance could lead me to this group which had such an impact on my life. And on my laundry.
And now the project is coming to an end. I understand it, but I feel sad about it. An era is ending. There is so much I still wanted to share with these people. And many of them have become a part of my life so they will share those things, but that particular community will be gone and I will miss it.
(So I uploaded this photo and now I feel like I’m sort of a Who overachiever or something. I guess I just got REALLY into my role what with the extra fancy posture and stuff. THESPIANS FOREVER WOO!)
My friend Elaine works at a local (and very important) theatre. Bethany and I swung by today to visit and take one last 7 Days picture together and Elaine took us all on a tour of the place. There are actually three separate theatres on this location – one outdoors, one in the round, and the main one in the style (at least on the outside) of Shakespeare’s Globe theatre. The kids and I have actually been on a tour there a few years ago with a homeschool field trip group. But honestly this was better. Not only because I got to spend time with a friend I don’t see enough, but because she’s a fantastic tour guide and is, maybe, more intimately involved with the theatre than a volunteer docent.
Obviously this theatre is currently set up for the yearly holiday production of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, but we did not steal anything. Except the show.
HAHAHA.
I’m sorry. It’s late and I maybe overdid it today with a lot of walking. My ovary was very angry at me by the time I got home to curl up with my babies and watch the Muppet Christmas Carol (arguably the best version since the actual original).
Today was the first day in probably 100 years that I haven’t had anything that absolutely MUST be accomplished. Aside from the minor genocide of the ant colony in my kitchen, of course. So I didn’t actually get moving until 4pm. Oops. Or yay. One of those.
So my murderous preparations didn’t go as planned because it was harder to find food grade diatomaceous earth than I’d expected (in large part because when I’d called ahead Home Depot told me incorrectly that they carried it). Tomorrow I’ll try a feed store.
Instead we prepared to play Clue. Which is also about murder, actually. And, as it turned out, I was the murderer. I was hoping the game night spin on this theme might prove to be more light and Christmassy. I’m a brutal killer either way, I suppose. Festive!
Bonus for blog-readers. A photo of a very pouty kitten who’s not allowed to play with the game pieces which are clearly THE BEST TOYS EVER.
O HAI.
(I think I’m dating myself by speaking in lolcat. I mean. That was SO four years ago. All the cool kids these days speak doge. Basically I’m internet-ancient.)
The world just will not let up. As soon as I was finished with my finals I had to do holiday shopping (so far I’ve only done my kids. have not even begun to think about other people yet. oy). Then a water filter sort of exploded under my kitchen sink which – in the grand scheme of plumbing issues – wasn’t THAT big of a deal, but it left me without water in the kitchen for a few days while I learned how to fix it (almost) myself (a friend helped by replacing the waterlogged wood for me). THEN. I got a mysterious pain in my side which I still don’t really know what to do with, but it was briefly accompanied by a fever so I had to decide whether to go to the ER or not. The pain is still around, the fever is gone and the pain is very different now, but I’m still not really sure how to handle this. In between all these things I’ve had two fairly major paperwork things to accomplish which took up a lot of time and energy.
I know. This is the most boring kind of entry ever. (Does it help to know that I nearly just wrote “the most borking entry”?) I just can’t help myself because I MEAN REALLY WITH THE NEVERENDING STUFF NEVER ENDING WHAT EVEN THE HELL ALREADY? Someday when I look back and think to myself, “GOD why was I such a big whiner in 2013?” I will have these entries to remind me that 2013 was, indeed, a fucking motherfucker.
But this is the longest night. Figuratively (DEAR GOD I HOPE) and literally. The sun is reborn today and the Northern Hemisphere heads back towards summertime.
I think there are two aspects of Paganism that really speak to my soul. The holidays that coincide with the beginnings of each season are the most powerful to me spiritually because they mark a literal cosmic moment in which the Earth’s position in the solar system and on its axis cause an effect on Earth’s seasons. This morning, at 9:11 in my time zone, the Earth was tilted at its farthest from the sun and began to wobble back the other direction. To know that, to picture it, to meditate on it, connects me to the Universe like nothing else. This is how I feel the glory of Nature on Earth and beyond – through science. It is humbling and exhilarating all at once. Connecting with nature, Earth, the Universe, in every way from a simple hike to a holiday celebration is what feeds my soul.
The other aspect is the spiritual and psychological work. This is where metaphor and myth come in. Gods and goddesses, I believe, are as real as you need them to be. In mythology they are facets of the human psyche and the stories are the keys to understanding who we are. To say a prayer, to burn some sage, to participate in any ceremony is holy because it is stating an intention. An intention to connect with the Universe (or any name you choose to call your Source), to cleanse your energy, to focus on the past, present, and future. This is how I do my work to grow emotionally and spiritually.
My life has been chaotic so my ceremonies have been simple. We watched the sun rise on his birthday; this year Bethany’s family joined us. We feasted on bacon and sausage, biscuits with clotted cream, coffee, and cherry cider. I find prayer in every little action. In decorating the tree. In taking pictures of the sun rise or of our breakfast. In wrapping gifts and setting them under our artificial tree. In walking around at night with the neighborhood, looking at all the festive lights, guiding humanity through this dark time of year. But simple ceremonies are no less valid than elaborate ones, and, in fact, I find that looking for prayers in my every day actions increases the meanings of the prayers themselves. Looking for prayers is another prayer.
Whoa. Meta.
And so the days grow longer, even though we won’t notice that right away. I am hoping this will apply metaphorically to my life as well. Because I am tired. And I have a break from school right now, but it is only for a few weeks and I am afraid that won’t be as much time as I need to finally catch up. Or to, you know, stop my body from developing a new problem every week. And if not, I guess we can just give in to my elderliness and celebrate my 80th birthday in February.
Happy Solstice! Here’s to sunny days and celebrations (and quiet moments) with friends!
(PS. This was actually a 7 Days post. It’s the last run. Ever. *sniff* That last picture there is my official 7 Days post today.)
Right now I’m taking three accelerated-speed classes. Which is, I think, the equivalent of like six classes. That’s difficult enough, but just as these classes started in October I got sick. And I haven’t not been sick since. And these are bad respiratory things. One I ended up in urgent care with a prescription for an inhaler and cough syrup that made me fall asleep. The most recent one I muddled through with extra naps each day. And last night I had a research paper due for my history class. I feel like I’ve done nothing the last three weeks except study, sleep, and feel guilty that I’m neglecting my kids.
However difficult this has been, though, my depression seems to have lifted. When I pause for a moment and ask myself how I’m feeling – no matter what my current emotion is – there is a light undercurrent of not-depressed there. And it feels fucking fantastic. I think I’m too superstitious to outright call it happiness, but that is what it is (KNOCK WOOD, OKAY, UNIVERSE? KNOCK WOOD).
I have a couple more weeks of these classes but without that paper looming overhead, and with the possibility (PLEASE?) of good health on the horizon, I feel like I might possibly get caught up and live a normal, if busy life.
Today I went out to the movies with my kids and their dad, and then we went out to eat at Marie Callender’s which was a surprisingly pleasant experience on Thanksgiving. And then I came home and spent the rest of the day by myself. And it’s been pretty nice, actually. I caught up on some cleaning and laundry. I went to hang Yule lights on our balcony and I was bummed to find out the outlet out there wasn’t working. So I went to go flip some switches but I couldn’t even figure out which switch was for the balcony. So I gave up. But when I came back out into the living room, they were on! I call that a Thanksgiving miracle! Or maybe a serious electrical problem! One of those! Then I put up the tree and had some smoked English cheddar because smoked English cheddar. And you know what? Life is pretty lovely today.
Here’s to up and up! Happy Thanksgiving!
(Reusing an old image here because I’m out of time. Also because CAKE.)
~TIAW on Tumblr and Pinterest.
~And you know? You may want to check out my personal Tumblr blog, too, today. There’s some interesting stuff that may not make it over to TIAW for one reason or another. Also I am adorable and you need more of me in your life.
~Sometimes I think Rainbow lives in my brain.
~I hate stretching. I’ve NEVER been flexible. In second grade I got in trouble for not sitting cross-legged because it was really uncomfortable for me. I must have come out of the womb and refused to ever do yoga again or something. And yet, I’ve been feeling very stiff lately. Probably because I am about to turn 80. So I happened across this and I think I’m going to start some stretching and see if I can’t start feeling a little more 35 years old.
~What no one tells you about losing lots of weight. Your skin doesn’t necessarily snap back. But no matter what? We are all beautiful.