Random Cat Owner Thoughts

Why is cat fur so cute on a cat and makes us want to pet and cuddle them, but when it’s floating around my floors like tiny, sentient tumbleweeds no one wants to touch it?

The upside to having hard floors and a population of wild dust bunnies is that when you vacuum, the dust bunnies become hypnotized by the machine and float towards it like magic where they are sucked into it exactly like the ghosts in the Activision Ghostbusters game I played on my Commodore 64 when I was eight. It is extremely satisfying.

My cats have a love-hate relationship with being brushed. Because on the one hand how dare you human what do you think you are doing demoralizing me like this? but on the other hand OMG that feels really good don’t stop.

I get overly emotional anytime someone suggests that cats aren’t loving. They absolutely are. I mean. I can’t even go to the bathroom by myself because they are so loving. I had more privacy for pooing when I had toddlers.

The kitten is obsessed with stalking the bubbles in her water dish when I pour in fresh water. This freaks Leia out, as she sits to the side wondering WTF even is happening right now and if the water has bugs or something she hasn’t noticed yet.

One night the kitten, Khoshekh (we call her Khashi for short), noticed the pointer hand on the Wii and started chirping at it. Leia, who has a particular affinity for moths, and a total lack of interest in the Wii, assumed Khashi was talking about a moth so she ran over and started chirping at the glass door even though there was no moth. So I had the kitten hollering at the TV and climbing the shelves to try to get to it and Leia was hollering desperately at absolutely nothing. We are a mess.

If a moth gets in the house, the cats will sing to it all night long. And I don’t mean that weird chirping they do at birds or the red dot. I mean they sing to it. It’s very musical. And loud. And always at 2am.

Cats bring out the baby talk in me more than human babies do. And, whatever, I’m comfortable enough with myself that I can baby talk a cat. But sometimes I wonder what my neighbors think when I get home and squeak out, “Where are my titties? OH THERE YOU ARE, TITTIES. HI TITTIES!”